ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Come see our sink grown plant.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
