I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
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