he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
