I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
