Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
