It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
