Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
and i looked up. we had an audience...
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
