It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
