i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
You are a genius and a whore.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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