I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
