Joe is yelling at the trees again.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
