we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
