New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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