he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
