the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Send help, water and tortillas.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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