i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
