i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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