Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
she pinky promised me she was 18
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
