God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
