Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
me + whiskey = a bad person
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
