I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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