At least make sure they are 18
Why
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
