I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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