i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
