So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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