your parents love me but you hate me
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
