i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Randomize
