Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
