He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
