capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
