so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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