He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
