He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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