A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
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