I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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