i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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