i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
