he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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