he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
