I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
