ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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