he shaved USA in his pubs
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
