the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
