He kissed a someone with a penis
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Randomize
