Don't you send me to vm
you have to choose: penises or morals?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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