i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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