Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
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