I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
