Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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