She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
