she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I need to calm my uterus...
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
