I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
