Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
