1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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