walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
