We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
